wyrdreddragon: (horneeeeeeee)
[personal profile] wyrdreddragon
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
B-dum tish!

Date: 2004-06-18 08:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] richc.livejournal.com
Not a comment on most of the post but.... your musical taste keeps reminding me why I need to rip my old record collection.....

Date: 2004-06-18 08:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wyrdreddragon.livejournal.com
ha ha ha
It's been a while since I've listened to Skyclad Myself, but I do have all the albums up to irrational anthems, but I believe that little old Martyn went even more teapot after that and I resolutely swore never to buy Folkemon, just a little madness to far in my mind.
I've just had a look on their website, and while I was aware that Martyn was involved in the Sabbat reunion I didn't know that skyclad went on without him.
Right you've done it now, I think a full length listen to Wayward Sons is in order!

Date: 2004-06-18 09:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rich-bull.livejournal.com
Yeah, but you're not having sex for a cool reason, bad boy.

Date: 2004-06-18 09:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wyrdreddragon.livejournal.com
I just wish that had really been me
:o)-
something to keep in mind for future reference though

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